Welcome Mr T!
I was an elder when I started posting here. And I was a miserably unhappy ex-bethelite that had been trying to stifle my doubts and hang on until armageddon. There were very few JWs that had ever expressed the slightest doubts to me. It wasn't until I came here and started reading that I discovered that I wasn't alone. The "apostates" that WT had been condemning and trying to keep the sheeple away from really had the truth about the truth.
Looking back, I'm sure there were lots of JWs that I knew that had doubts that they dare not speak. I'm glad I'm not one of them that is still going through the motions and doing all the JW stuff in order to have "friends" or as "insurance" in case WT is right about the "panda petting paradise." But the longer I was in bethel, the less appealing a "WT paradise" sounded.